she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
