Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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