question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Girls should come with a carfax report
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
