I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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