he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
