She went from zero to smokin in five shots
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
