Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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