I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
