That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
