Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
vagina is talking i cant
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
