yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
