I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
