3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
