The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I want to be your penis for a week.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
