why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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