I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
