What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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