Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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