apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
