turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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