i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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