I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I believe in your delicious
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
