i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
