Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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