Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
