is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
