I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
