my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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