...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Green mimosas i think yes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
