508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
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