Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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