Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
