I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
