So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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