Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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