there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
