i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
