would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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