How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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