I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
