If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
