I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
