In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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