Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
