come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
