no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
