He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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