i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I think people are normalizing furries
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
