Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
