Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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