So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
