Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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